The Physics And Complexities Of Emo Hair: Classic Emo Hair

Emo hair. The pride, the joy, the trademark of every emo kid in the world.

Although emo hair generally comes in only one color, one cut and one style, you can do anything with your hair and still be emo. But you won't know emo until you know that one cut, that one color and that one style (we'll get into teasing later).

Straight, long, black hair, with the fringe across the eye. Allow me to demonstrate with these pictures.

On girls:

On boys:

I know what you're thinking; "very nice, very pretty and all, but how does this help me?" Well, good sir (or lady), you have come to the right place for I am a professional (well, not really, but pretty close!). Before we begin your lesson on how to achieve classic, straight black emo hair, let's get some things straight first. For this article, I'm going to assume that you have black or dark hair (if you don't and are unwilling to dye your pretty blond, brown, red or even pink locks, I have articles for you, too), it is not naturally straight, you have the necessary products and tools and you are willing to subject your hair to some stress. Ready? Too bad, we're going in anyway!

You will need:

- towel

- shower

- flat iron

- heat protectant

- shampoo

- conditioner

- wide tooth comb

- hairbrush

- claw

- hair ties

You might need:

- blow dryer

- finishing spray

- straightening balm

- heat damage protection shampoo

Washing Your Hair

You have no idea how important this step is. I had no idea how important this step was until sometime last year. Let me tell you a story; it was May of 2009, and it was the day I had planned for for a long time. This was back before I straightened my naturally curly hair every day. It was the day of "the dance," "the semi," "the prom"... you get the idea. I wanted to look my best. And my best had straight hair. Long story short, I didn't wash it, and it curled soon after arriving at the semi. This happened only when I didn't wash my hair before. I insist that this step is extremely important.

Step 1: Shampooing

Most people don't know how to wash their hair. I know you think you do, but I'm going to give you step by step information anyway. First, get your hair wet, but don't soak it. Don't get it so wet it drips. Wet it from the top of your head to the ends, wet enough that your hair curls. I don't suggest doing this with hot water. Unless you have really oily hair, you won't want to get it really wet or use hot water because that will strip your hair of it's natural oils and so does shampooing your hair. You're going to wash out the natural oils when you shampoo, so don't do it before.

Next, put shampoo on the palm of your hand. You don't need as much as you think you need. The amount of shampoo is important; if you have really long hair, about the size of a quarter should do. If you have average length hair, go with a dime. If your hair is shorter, go with less. You don't want to waste shampoo, and you don't want to bathe your hair in shampoo either because, like I said, it strips your hair of it's natural oils. Now rub your palms together until the shampoo turns into little bubbles. Massage your scalp with your soapy hands and fingers, scrubbing out all the dirt and oil. Take your time. Some people even shampoo twice (although if you have dry hair, that's not a good idea). DO NOT shampoo the ends or middle parts of your hair; just the scalp. Next, rinse it out. When you rinse your hair, the shampoo will wash out the dirt in the ends and middle area of your hair.

Step 2: Heat protection

It's very important for every child of emo to protect their hair from heat. After shampooing, there's a little something for your hair called infra treatment. Basically, it's extra padding to keep your hair from frying. This is optional, but I recommend it.

Step 3: Conditioning

Those with super-oily hair may want to skip this step entirely, although you may want to research that option before.

Once your hair is completely free of shampoo (COMPLETELY; you don't want to leave icky residue), it's time for conditioner. I'd say use the same amount, although if you have dry hair you may want to use more. Once the conditioner is in your palm, put your hands together like you're putting on lotion. The back of TresEmme conditioner advises to apply conditioner as if you were making a ponytail, from mid-shafts to ends. Gentlemen, if you've never made a ponytail, you've probably seen a girl do it. If your hair's long enough, now's your chance to pretend you're a girl making a ponytail. Although you're not supposed to put conditioner on the roots of your hair, if you have super-dry hair, do it, but use very little on the roots and a lot more on your ends. Leave the conditioner in your hair for 2-5 minutes (the drier your hair, the longer you leave it in. I use this time to untangle my hair with the wide-tooth comb), then rinse.

Step 4: Drying Your Hair

Whether or not you blow-dry or have a wet to straight flat iron, you have to towel dry your hair. It is not recommended for either tools to come straight out of the shower and subject your soaked hair to heat. Squeeze your hair dry with a towel, but be gentle; if you do this too harshly you will create frizz.

Step 5: Straightening

Depending on the directions on your product, now or before step 2 would be the time to apply straightening balm. It really depends.

Step 6: Blow Drying

Some people blow-dry their hair prior to flat ironing it. I don't do this because I have a wet2straight flat iron, but before I did I found this step useful (although I didn't always do it). The question is...

Should I blow dry my hair prior to straightening?

If you have extremely curly, hard to straighten hair, you're going to want to blow dry. When you blow dry your hair, you can hold it straight and it won't dry so curly, thus making it easier to straighten.

If you don't want to spend so much time on your hair, you're going to want to blow dry. It's way faster than air drying, especially if you have really long hair.

If you want to avoid stress on your hair as much as possible, don't blow dry. Hey, you don't have to.

If you do blow dry, hold your hair straight while you do it. It'll make the next step easier.

There is one thing: if your hair isn't very curly or very wavy, you can skip step 2 entirely and simply blow dry your hair straight. I recommend this option only if you're not a fan of the super straight look, if your facial structure doesn't do well with straight hair, if you don't own a flat iron, or if you have lank hair (blow drying adds volume). I don't find it necessary to get into blow drying hair straight though, so I recommend searching for YouTube videos or reading this article here.

STEP 7: Flat Ironing Your Hair

The most important step? I think so. Get out that hair brush and brush out your curls/waves. Split hair into two sections; top and bottom. Gather the top section, twist it all up into a little bun and use the claw to keep it away from the bottom section. Next, get your heat protectant spray (I use TresEmme Heat Tamer Spray and my hair has never looked better) and spray the bottom section liberally from a distance of 6 - 8 inches. From the front left area of the bottom section of your hair, separate a piece about two inches wide, no more (and no less than one inch. Use a hair tie to tie away the rest of your hair. Flat iron the piece you've seperated until it's dead straight. You shouldn't have to pass the iron over your hair more than twice unless your hair is really curly. If you do, it's either on too low of a setting for your hair or it's simply a shitty flat iron and you ought to buy a new one. I own a Remington Wet2Straight flat iron and I love it. I've never had to use it on the highest setting and I have fairly difficult hair to straighten. It's about $30, which is super cheap for a flat iron (they can go up to hundreds of dollars). And no, I'm not being paid to advertise them. Once that strand of hair is perfectly pin straight, move onto the next one. And the next one. And the next one, until your bottom layer is finished. Then move onto your top layer and repeat. If you have uber thick hair, you might want to do three layers. I have pretty thick hair but I only need two layers.

Yes, you can go all over the place and do a strand here, a strand there, but that would make things a whole lot more difficult for you.

Step 8: Finishing Off

If you find your hair curls hours after you finish, you might need a finishing spray. This step is pretty simple; finish ironing your hair, then spray it all over.

Step 9: The Part

And now the most crucial part. Well, before you simply had long black hair. You could pass for a prep or Sadako at best! Take your wide tooth comb and - wait. You're not going to do it like that, are you? This is the most important part. Do it dramatically. Slowly pick up your wide tooth comb, eyeing it with admiration and even a little fear, and place it on the side of your head. Which side is up to you; also, you're going to have to make a decision before as to how far back you're going to part it. If you want to part your hair very far to the side (past your eye) you shouldn't place it far back at all, unless you want to look like you stepped out of the 80s (and who wants that?). It really depends on how emo you look already; if your side part is looking like just any side part, place it farther back OR farther to the side. Once you've placed it, drag it forward and over your eye, again slowly. Watch as your hair drops dramatically over the rest of your face. As Guy Ripley would say... delicious.

A NOTE ON MALE PARTING:

Yes, you could do it like a girl. But guys' hair is usually shorter, so you have more options. You could, like Alex Evans (pictures below), let it fall naturally and then sweep it to the side, or, like Connor from Alcoholic Elegance (again, pictures below), simply let it fall as fringe. Or you could do something a little more dramatic, a little more gothic. Some choose to sweep all their hair forward and to the side, so that both sides of your face are covered. This is a little difficult to explain and will require a good bit of hair spray.

over the face style.
Connor of Alcoholic Elegance.

Alex Evans circa 2006.